Hauer, Party of 5

Wife, mother of 3, just trying to maintain sanity …

RDCV: H’okayyyyyyy June 22, 2012

Filed under: Life,My kids — melhauer @ 11:56 pm


If you’ve read my blog in the last few months or seen some of my FB statuses, chances are you might already be familiar with Puppy. And with the fact that we don’t leave home without Puppy. What I may not have mentioned before is that when we are home, 95% of the time its not just Puppy. Its Puppy, Oh No! (his Build-a-Bear), his two brown pillows, and his blanket from his bed. Its a package deal. And they move wherever he moves throughout the house throughout the day. One massive pile of lovies that occupy too much space, that Daddy and Mommy trip over all the time, that covers the entirety of the dinette table when we eat lunch, that is just always there. Everywhere. Earlier today Asher was migrating his pile, and he realized he was missing one of the pillows. And he ran to his room, whimpering “I need my pillow! Pillow is missing! Pillow is missing!”, then ran back to the living room, then back to the bedroom, then to the formal dining room (sometimes he hangs out under the table), over to the sliding glass doors, all the while saying over and over again “I need my pillow! I can’t find it! Pillow is missing!”, and you could hear in his voice that he’s getting more and more frantic. Now mind you, no one was just standing around watching this happen, just letting him be tortured about his missing pillow. The level of panic about the missing pillow and the running back and forth happened within a matter of minutes and while the adults were finishing putting food on plates for dinner. When I picked up on the words that were actually coming out of his mouth amidst all the other regular everyday noise in our home, I instantly grabbed the ‘missing’ pillow that was sitting on the kitchen counter right in front of me (you tell me) and tossed it to him. And the relief on his face was amazing. And I realized in that moment that he is 1,000% my mini-me. He absolutely NEEDS all five elements to his ‘go everywhere’ package when he is home. There is no reason or logic to why he needs these things. Does there even need to be? They are his things, his things that he loves, and he wants them near him. And he doesn’t like to be without them, not even one piece of them. And when one of them is missing, its an all stop until we find the missing item. He will not move forward without whichever piece is not present. That is me, to a T. Not about a pillow, per se, but I know without question I have torn this house apart on more than one occasion just trying to find one stupid thing. And that it will drive me crazy until I find it. I will look in the same 15 places 20 times, just to make sure I didn’t miss it the last 19 times I looked. And sometimes the thing I’m looking for is really important and sometimes its not so important but it will drive me crazy either way if I don’t find it because I know I had it/did not throw it away. And when all of that information flashed through my mind in a millisecond, it gave me pause. I wonder why he’s like that? I wonder why I’m like that? What is it that is wired within me and now clearly wired within him as well that we must have a complete fill-in-the-blank in order to be okay? For me I know it will just bug the ever-loving snot out of me if I can’t find something I know should be somewhere and that I might actually need for a purpose. But I also don’t like things to be incomplete. If I am dealing with something that is supposed to have 5 pieces and I can only find 4 of them, in all honesty I’d rather not use whatever the item in question is than to use it with only 4 pieces. So I clearly have the same brain stutter he does. And I don’t know why! Things that make me go hmmmmmm …..

But enough about that!

Bella Balloo – She is one of a kind, that is for sure! She is our daredevil, our people person, our ‘will talk your ear off’. She’s something, that one. I adore her!! Right now she’s doing something so cute … Grandma mentioned today that she will be sad when Bella stops doing this … I didn’t realize it until Grandma said it, but I’ll miss it too. If you ask Bella if she wants something or if she wants to do something, and she is amenable to whatever it is, she answers with “H’okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!” … Its pretty cute. I may see if I can get it on video and post it at some point. Its pretty cute. Its pretty darn cute.

Today was Father’s Day – The kids picked out gifts for Daddy (somewhat guided by Mommy, to a degree) – A shirt, nice shorts, and nice flip flops from Bella, work out clothes and a can of peanuts from Asher, and cologne from Charlee. And here is what they chose to put on his Father’s Day card:

Bella picked the birthday cake, Asher picked the iphone cake. Because every Father’s Day card needs an iphone cake and a birthday cake on it.



I discovered today that my Bella is absolutely terrified of the vacuum cleaner. Andy has been on vacuum duty for the last 4 years, between being perpetually pregnant + having a bad back, pushing the vacuum hasn’t been in my deck of cards. But with the improvement in my back from physical therapy, I actually took it on over the weekend and didn’t throw anything out. Afternoon snack today was another ‘throw it everywhere’ festival, so I pulled the vacuum back out to do a quick run under/around the table. My Balloo!! I had no idea! She was crying her eyes out and shaking like a leaf!! My poor baby!!

Random thought of the day: I really don’t think God is even 1/100th as uptight as a lot of Christians are, and I think there are an awful lot of things that an awful lot of Christians take waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy more seriously than God ever has or ever will. Just my opinion.


Mommy side note: I love me some Sister! Sister! I enjoy the Mowry sisters. However. Tia has been a mother for about 5 minutes. And pregnant once. Yet she has put out a pregnancy and parenting book. Yes, you do learn some things the first time around. However. Tia has been a mother for about 5 minutes. Our culture’s worship of celebrity and that we look to them for all things is so incredibly pervasive, it is ridiculous. The Bible says that the older men should teach the younger men and the older women should teach the younger women. About life in general. Things godly, things worldly, things baby. Life. There is a reason for that! If you have walked the path a few times, you know where the rocks are and have the scars on your knees from tripping over them to prove it! So I’ll pass on the Mommy for 5 Minutes advice and follow the 25 year Mommy Veteran advice, thanks! No offense, TT.

Non Mommy side note: I found a bull in my desk.

Before you think I’m weirder than you already did/do, this was given to me by my boss. She found a bunch of these and gave them out at a team conference about 4 years ago, matching them up to us according to her opinion of our characteristics. So while I know you thought I was funky weird when you looked at that picture, I kept the bull. I kinda like that this is what my boss thinks of me.

Another non Mommy side note: I just did that tear the house apart looking for one stupid thing because I know it should be there and where is it thing. Realized about 3/4ths of the way into the search ‘Oh my gosh, I’m doing it. Right now, I’m doing that thing.’ I did find the thing I was after, thanks God! (Oh, and no, it wasn’t the Account-a-Bull I was looking for at the moment)


When I told Asher to “Shh! Please be quiet, Charlee is sleeping right over there”, this is how he walked up to her bed to see if I was telling the truth.

**********Apologies, I have no idea why YouTube would put a video of ‘How to French Kiss’ in the queue right behind this one, one has nothing whatsoever to do with the other, and I h.a.t.e. the thumbnail they decided to use, its fairly gross. Sorry*********

Today we finally got around to making our ‘Calm Me’ jars. Big thanks to Linda K. at Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources for this tool! You can find instructions for how to make your own here. We’ve had the bottles for a while, but every time we’ve been near a craft store or any other store that would have the rest of the elements needed to make the jars, Mommy has had Mommy brain and forgotten. (Listen, pregnancy brain and mommy brain are very real phenomena. If you are a mommy you already know this to be true.) Ours turned out acceptably for a rookie mommy, I believe. And as long as they serve their intended purpose I’m okay with less than perfect! Asher’s is red, and Bella’s is supposed to be hot pink, but it doesn’t really read hot pink, so thank goodness for differentiating ribbons, or our tool to help our babies begin to understand their emotions would have just been something else for them to fight over!

I think we’re going to call ours our ‘Calm Down’ jars. Asher doesn’t say ‘Calm Me’ very well. Its a bit undecipherable and is all one word. So Calm Down it is, because he can enunciate that well and he began calling it that on his own anyway.

The house across and one down from us has been abandoned for a while. A lot of foreclosures in our neighborhood, just like the rest of Orlando/America. But it must have sold in a short sale or something, because there have been a variety workers on the property over the last few weeks, fixing items on the house that have needed fixing for a while (the air conditioning, for example). Last week a crew came and pulled up the entirety of the yard (read: jungle) to start all over again, and today they are here laying the new sod. (I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish they got the street numbers on the address on their paperwork wrong by two houses.) And they have a truck. Of course. Apparently all trucks that make rumbly noises are garbage trucks. At least according to Asher they are. Every time (and I’m not kidding, every time) the truck has backed up and gotten a new load and gone back onto the dirt to be unloaded (so basically anytime it has made noise), Asher has perked up, and its “Its the garbage truck, Mommy! Its the garbage truck, Mommy!”. So I took him outside to show him that its a grass truck. And every time that it made noise after I took him out to show him that, it became “Its the grass garbage truck, Mommy! Its the grass garbage truck, Mommy!”. Okay Baby, its the grass garbage truck.

I believe my submission for ‘Most Ungodly Wife, like, Ever’ will be the following:

Andy and Asher were rough-housing tonight. (Is it still called rough-housing? Is that , like, somehow not politically correct anymore? I don’t know. But I digress.) Andy had Asher slung over his shoulder upside down. And Asher made a defensive move. Asher bit Andy in his man chest area. And here’s where I win my wife of the year trophy. I cackled. Like a hen. With a ‘Now you know what it feels like to have your chest gnawed on!!’ not even needing to actually be spoken, just hanging out there in the air. I know. I shouldn’t have laughed. And I shouldn’t have done a ‘Yes!!!’ arm pump in my mind. But I did. There you go.

Just completed Stealth Maneuver #31 of the day. Had to go into the bedroom to retrieve something, and up pops a tiny little head with fuzzy hair sticking straight up. Belonging to one Charlee Hauer, who fooled us – We thought she was asleep. I haven’t stopped, dropped, and rolled in really long time, since the Jacksonville Fire Department sent a few guys to our school to teach us about fire safety when I was 10 years old. But I guess its like riding a bike, because it sure came back in an instant. And then I had to sit crouched behind the bed out of view while that cute little fuzzy head bounced up and down, trying to see over the edge of her PNP. Every time I gained a foot towards being back out the door, I had to stop for the bouncing fuzzy head. It would be one thing if she saw me and that was it – She just saw me and laid back down and went back to (her version of) sleep. But if she saw me, it would be all over. She would be up for another 3 hours. So, army crawl out the door? Yes, of course.


My kids didn’t really do anything particularly interesting or funny today.


Charlee got into the sitting position all by herself today. Too fast. :(    Also she did this in her PNP.  So no more bouncing fuzzy head. Just a cute little doll baby fully sitting up looking at you waiting for you to come get her. And we should probably transition to the actual crib now, since its only a matter of time before she tries to launch herself out of the PNP bassinet part, and I for sure cannot bend down getting her in and out of the bottom PNP setting day in and day out.  Too fast, too fast, too fast, all of it.

I finished my 3rd sewing project today! Its for Bella’s bday party, so I’ll not post it in here, but I’m so super excited now that when I have something in my head, I am no longer stuck with whatever I can find that its pre-made or with having to find someone else to sew something for me (well, for easy stuff anyway) — Yay for sewing machines!!


We did go ahead and put Charlee in her crib in the room with Bella last night. I just had no peace that she wasn’t going to manage to launch herself out of the PNP.  And she didn’t need me last night, not once. My baby didn’t need me or ask for me at all. :(    If I had my way, she’d still be sleeping in the bed with me, but we had to stop that when she started scooting all over the bed in her sleep, despite my best efforts to keep her still and cuddled up with me. She kept getting herself in precarious positions and I was terrified she was going to scoot herself right off the bed (a two and a half foot fall). The constant kicking me in the face kinda hurt a little bit too. But if she hadn’t started squirming and scooting, if Bella and Asher hadn’t started doing the same, they’d all be in here with me. I like having my babies close. Sometimes I think we should put a trundle under our bed so we could all be in here together. Heaven knows there’s enough room in here! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, from the minute they get here, parenthood is a consistent (and painful) series of learning to let them go, to let them test their wings and learn to fly. Bittersweet is probably the mildest word to describe it.


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